My name is Matt, I’m 30 years old and I’m in a long term, loving relationship with Aston Villa Football Club.

Being any sort of supporter of a football club is invariably like being in a relationship with a partner. It has it’s ups and downs, but for the most part it gives more good than bad. Being a supporter is about getting behind the team whether you are sitting in the Holte End watching the goals go in, watching the game on Sky Sports, or reading the results from the paper in a bar on one of the Costas.

If you care that we won 2-0, or that we lost 2-0, then you are a supporter. Plain and simple.

Supporting a football team as a person is not about having the money to travel home and away to every match. I'm not more of a supporter the seasons I have a season ticket than the one's I don't. Supporting our club is about having a passion for the fact that you want your team to win, and you’re frustrated when they don’t.

It’s about caring about whether the team is doing well or not, but giving the relationship a chance to work. Supporting a club is about patience, and about ambition but in relative terms. The money I’m putting away isn’t going to buy me an Aston Martin next year, but it will probably pay for the holiday.

Sure I’d like an Aston Martin, but I’m happy with my Renault. By the same logic, I’d love to see us sign a £30m player who makes a difference, but I’d rather buy a £10m player who performs half as well than end up with an Aston Martin for 6 months before it got repossessed when the payments weren’t met.

The reason I make the analogy of the relationship is simple. Amongst our ranks of Villa supporters there are many different types. The type who dates one person but constantly goes on about how attractive everybody else is. The type who never questions anything no matter whether their partner never does anything. The type who celebrates their 50 year wedding anniversary, knowing that there would be nobody for them besides their partner.

Everybody has disagreements, but how you feel long term is what keeps you in it.

Every type of relationship is legitimate, and no choice is wrong. However some of those options do make you happy, and some don’t.

However, fact of the matter is we are all in a relationship with Aston Villa. We chose Villa for any number of reasons. For me it is because I was raised in Aston, for others it could be any number of things. No one reason is better than any other. Fact of the matter is we are not holding many glory hunters amongst our ranks so pretty much every reason for being a Villain is valid. Whether you were born in Birmingham or Bombay, you’re welcome to be part of the family.

Now to the relationship in hand.

We are starting the fourth year of our relationship with the current manager. We have managed to develop as a team in terms of player quality and finish consistently over his time here yet time and time again we see people on his back. We have a chairman who provides money for his manager. People may argue this case because we have not spent yet, but take a look at the big spend we had when we got £40m worth of players in – it was at the end of the transfer window. Certain managers do things a certain way. Fact of the matter is this is how ours does things.

We can’t force the manager to spend money on players any more than anyone here can force their mates to go blow their recent lottery win on flash cars and fast women. Not everybody blows their money they have on the most expensive things that can afford. Not doing so does not make you less ambitious, just shows you to have a different outlook of how you spend money.

Fact of the matter is we don’t know the strategy our chairman and manager has, but I have faith there is a plan behind it all. You only have to look at the economy to see the result of people spending money they didn’t have on ideas that didn’t work out. They end up homeless and destitute. Ask yourself the following; would you take that gamble on maybe having a season of glory if ten years down the line, Villa were in administration?

Investing £75m a season nowadays doesn’t necessarily win you the title any more.

So how do we go about it? Logically we have to take some gambles, but ones that are realistically within our grasp. The reason why you or I might consider spending £500 on a night out as expensive when a footballer could spend that on a bottle of wine is down to simple economics. So is £30m spent on a player in the eyes of our owners given our current stature.

So how would you be successful? Would you spend all your wages on lottery tickets hoping that you win in the next 3 months or your house will be repossessed? Or do you spend a little bit of money on saving and just be happy in the meantime, knowing that you are still happy even if it’s with a small but considered investment that will pay off given time? Gambling is by default a risk, and our manager doesn’t take lots of big ones.

If we swapped out chairman for an oil sheik, we could probably win the title in the next 5 years, but then when that suitor gets bored of that Birmingham based investment in ten years time, where are we left? A massive set of outgoings and not enough incoming money to balance the books. Do you really think Man City will be owned by the same people in 2030?

If their chairman ups and leaves in five years (or Mr Abramovich of Chelsea leaves his club), then we could well see them in administration. I for one would rather be looking back on some success when I’m 50, than telling my kids about who Aston Villa were before they went under. Same way as I’d like to have my wife there with my kids, rather than explain how she committed suicide because she couldn’t cope with the debt she gambled on.

Being a fan of a football team is like a relationship. If your relationship doesn’t make you happy, find another one. However if you love the one you are in a relationship with, give them a break when they get the odd thing wrong. Nobody is perfect, just try to be happy in the meantime.

Comments (63)

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Robbie Wells said:

... I'm more like the bird of the relationship...my emotions are completely dictated by Villa. If we're on a winning streak, i'm on fire...if not, i'm nigh on suicidal.

Comment 1, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.18 am

Damian said:

... Great first post from Matt (not the same as the old Mat that used to post on here) and very well reasoned. But and this is just to play a little but let's say you are a successful person with a few quid, nice house, nice car and generally considered a good catch. You meet this woman or man and the relationship is great to start. The sex is amazing and he or she does things that you never imagined possible and they never say no and actually more often than not instigate it. They're cooking is great and they're fun, never minding if you are going out with your mates for a beer on a Friday and Saturday night or spending most of Sunday there too. In fact they're so great, even your mates like him or her. Then, let's say, you get all committed and get married and then two years down the line, you're not allowed out on a Friday or Saturday or they'll be hell to pay, sex is but a distant memory and when you do get close it's just plan old simple boring sex and none of the fun stuff. You are forced to drink wine, not allowed allowed friends round and generally speaking feel as if you were trapped and lied too. What do you do in that type of relationship?

Comment 2, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.20 am

chiefy said:

... fab post great read could not agree more, MON and Randy know what they doing the future is bright the future is claret and blue

Comment 3, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.20 am

ChicoHamiltonsPants said:

... Matt i do agree with what you say, Villa is family and and like the old saying goes "you caan't choose your family"

Comment 4, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.20 am

rob hathaway said:

... Damian, whats his name? this partner you speak of?

Comment 5, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.21 am

rob hathaway said:

... matt, good post, generally what all the positive bloggers have been saying for weeks and followed by a similar semi negative response from damian

Comment 6, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.22 am

ChicoHamiltonsPants said:

... Clive!! Only joking......

Comment 7, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.23 am

Ronan Kenny said:

... Is this still a football blog??

Comment 8, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.24 am

Damian said:

... rob h Randy

Comment 9, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.26 am

ChicoHamiltonsPants said:

... Damian its simple you've got cash nice house etc then get a divorce.

Comment 10, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.26 am

john said:

... I seriously think you need a word with your wife, Damian.

Comment 11, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.26 am

Eoin Greene said:

... All this talk about relationships - what next - whats your favourite episode of sex and the city? Supporting a club is not something you can get out of. For whatever reason - you are an aston villa supporter - thats just the way it is. Its almost as if the club chooses you! Its not as if you can dump your club, sleep with another club for a while or maybe even sleep with a few different clubs at the same time. Some supporters on here are ultimate gentlemen - always complementing it on how good it looks and reckon it will look better at 50 than it did at 21. Others reckon that the tits could be a bit bigger and it would help if you went to the gym and worked on the saggy arse. Of course Man City just took the shortcut and went to a plastic surgeon whilst our bird is off doing a power walk. Now can we talk about football form now on?

Comment 12, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.27 am

Tim Wood said:

... Damian are you speaking from experience?

Comment 13, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.27 am

deansaundersperm that's perm said:

... more bad news http://www.skysports.com/story...59,00.html

Comment 14, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.29 am

Ronan Kenny said:

... eoin1981 Nicely put

Comment 15, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.29 am

chiefy said:

... eoin1981 that was also a very nice way of looking at it, but remember with plastic surgery its not real its fake and fake things eventually go wrong, get found out or break, ask her with the lips that went all wrong. Working at it gives more sense of achivement, pride and is generally more sustainable for a longer period of time.

Comment 16, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.31 am

straff24 said:

... why is this bad news,,am i not reading this right???

Comment 17, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.31 am

viva villa said:

... mon out now, alot of fans are turning on him fast

Comment 18, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.32 am

Eamo said:

... Great post matt. I like you am very happy the way our club is being run and Villa look nice and stable. As you say I would rather just chill out with where we are than take a massive gamble and finish with an FA cup and administration to look forward to. I do however think that a small gamble could and should be taken just to keep the relationship healthy. Damian you have 1 massive flaw in your argument and that is you got married. The point of the thread is to maintain a healty relationship therefore don't get married.

Comment 19, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.33 am

viva villa said:

... useless post, lets talk football.

Comment 20, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.35 am

chiefy said:

... viva villa are you mad or just not at school ?

Comment 21, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.35 am

VillaDude said:

... Back to football - with spurs signing crouch, leaves Huntelaar still on the market... Didn't someone say they knew of a possible doube swoop today?

Comment 22, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.36 am

deansaundersperm that's perm said:

... only paper talk but.... Toure's departure from Arsenal to Manchester City is set to spark a defender merry-go-round this summer. Joleon Lescott will also move to Eastlands from Everton, with Tottenham's Alan Hutton and City's Nedum Onuoha replacing him at Goodison Park, while Arsenal are to move for Fulham's Brede Hangeland. (Daily Mirror)

Comment 23, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.37 am

Enda said:

... Great post.

Comment 24, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.38 am

chiefy said:

... huntelaar is out of our reach wages, however if he is also going spuds that would make keane surplus to requirements and we have been linked with him a lot in the past and maybe it would be a good move gives us something different up front dont you think ? and if anyone can get him playing again its MON

Comment 25, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.38 am

limerick_villain said:

... dean hows that bad news about friedal???

Comment 26, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.39 am

ChicoHamiltonsPants said:

... As i said yesterday if we sign Huntelaar and Drenthe, party at my house and the lapdancers are on me.

Comment 27, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.40 am

limerick_villain said:

... Great post matt.

Comment 28, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.41 am

daniel wheeler said:

... read that we are interested in warnock from blackburn. he's a solid left back imo. we should offer shorey and a bit of cash.

Comment 29, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.45 am

Mike Carter said:

... I wish people wouldn't masquerade as me

Comment 30, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.46 am

chiefy said:

... i see how your name is now sorry viva villa i was not aware that some child was using your name

Comment 31, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.49 am

VillaDude said:

... hes viva villa with a space

Comment 32, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.49 am

Mark Johnson said:

... what a good well balanced post, it reitterates everything that the positive few have been saying for some weeks now, and reinforces the fact that we have a few muppets on here that want Martin out. very well written. Double swoop today????? I bloody well hope so, but won't be suprised if not UTV

Comment 33, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.54 am

Mark Johnson said:

... hes viva villa with a space He must be in space!!

Comment 34, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.55 am

Richard Bunn said:

... I enjoyed your post Matt, nice distraction from the usual speculative talk. We won't be signing Huntelaar and Drenthe. They are out of our price range and off MON's radar IMO. Still think we'll be doing some business this week though. Just need to get these players in a room with MON. That is difficult when he is in Spain though!

Comment 35, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.57 am

Mike Carter said:

... Still, not very original is it

Comment 36, made on July 28, 2009 at 10.57 am

Altan Kargaci said:

... Nice one Matt , good read and I get where your coming from. Not only are we fans but we are paying customers and we have a right to complain and moan if we want. The three main point's of interest to us fans is how the club is run by the chairman , how much the chairman supports his manager financially and how the manager manages the team . Supporting a football team in general is very frustrating but when you have Randy and MON in sole charge barely ever saying anything it can get beyond bearable.But in all honesty have we really got much to moan about at this stage ? Yes were a few players down on last year but time is on our side, I have no doubt the numbers will come in and I have no doubt Randy will support MON financially the best he can. The club as a whole is being run on a stable footing , the team is young, hungry for success and is slowly but shorly improving year on year. Rome wasn't built in a day so chill out people . UTV

Comment 37, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.06 am

keithj said:

... matt you are so right. this time now is like the headache/tired period but you just know that there's a fantastic time to come

Comment 38, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.07 am

bobvillian said:

... it seems to me Mon is looking at the cheap end of market for players like distin;warnock for defence.ifs thats the case why not try sean st leger from preston.very inpresive for last 4y.also a villa fanatic.

Comment 39, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.07 am

George Hartless said:

... Definitely see the similarities between the Villa and the missus. If you are lucky enough to find a girl you really like then you don't look elsewhere. Same with the footy; football fans rarely get jealous. Even with all the money they've spent I'd choose Villa over Man City every time. Even with all the success they've had I rather die than be a Man Utd fan. I'd rather cover my testicles in honey and hang a hornets nest between my legs than support Liverpool.

Comment 40, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.09 am

ak_27 said:

... What if your bird is lying/cheating on you? Do you quietly sit back and not ask questions and just bury your head in the sand or do you confront her to get answers? For me things are not adding up at Villa and answers need to come out(if not now after the window shuts). Do we have the money to make any attempt to go for 4th or is it MON holding us back with and out of date transfer policy?

Comment 41, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.17 am

PAUL WARREN said:

... In this case, perhaps the missus should consider using canesten cream to rid herself of that irritating c*nt harewood. And be more carefull who she gets into be with in the future.

Comment 42, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.29 am

Frenchy said:

... Space between the ears I think

Comment 43, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.31 am

gregdavillain said:

... christ almighty go have a chat with Dr. Phil and let the boys talk about football

Comment 44, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.34 am

Panos said:

... Great post Matt, agree with most of what you say, however some times you do have to take a gamble to get to the next level, and January's transfer window was one of those times imo.

Comment 45, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.37 am

LukeYoung2 said:

... I'm with this bird aswell, do you think she is seeing a hell of a lot of other guys? Dirty cheat!

Comment 46, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.42 am

Oweek said:

... Nice post. I've often said the Villa are like a wife. She gave me the League, then the European Cup....and then a League Cup every few years. Ah well. At least I didn't marry an ugly bitch like 'My old man'. :-)

Comment 47, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.43 am

Stephen Gilligan said:

... On the subject of supporting Villa I was always thought a supporter was someone who goes to the matches,buys merchandise pays money to club in someone way to help the club, and a fan is someone who doesn't pay money to the club,they can still love the club,want us to do well. IMO thats a supporter the people who pay there money.Thats not a slight on people who dont go just my opinion.I know this post wasn't about this just people keep going on about supporting the club this that. i just wanted to put my 2pence worth in.

Comment 48, made on July 28, 2009 at 11.53 am

OneVilla said:

... Great post Matt. But the bird needs to sort things out.

Comment 49, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.16 pm

CP said:

... Fantastic post Matt. Some excellent points well made.

Comment 50, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.23 pm

clarkamus said:

... we would hear if MON is flying back wouldnt we? i think yes so maybe going to spain for the peace cup was ideal for him as he can then talk to huntelaar and drenthe without anyone knowing doubt it but youve always gotta dream

Comment 51, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.24 pm

Matt T said:

... The old girl definitely needs some work doing on her but that said I'm not going to dump her because she failed to get the replacement breasts immediately after having a mastectomy. Thanks for the comments about the post PS Yes it's not specifically about player but for the people think it's some oestrogen sodden piece about Sex in the City, it's an analogy Next time I'll have to write about Yorkie bars, weight lifting and drinking Stella then Let's hope I get to write some more posts in the future

Comment 52, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.42 pm

Matt T said:

... Damo, Relationships change over time... At least once in a while the old girl gets you something nice unexpected, or plans you that surprise party. Then on the odd occassion she gets you the wrong thing after you talked about that fantastic new games console that is like a (Huntelaar equivalent) you wanted all the while and you end up with an Argos special (like Marlon)... lol

Comment 53, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.44 pm

Phil Round said:

... Dear Deidre, My husband has been having an affair, with some mickey mouse outfit somewhere is small heath. My question is, is it unreasonable to have him castrated? Or shot? Or both?

Comment 54, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.46 pm

Matt T said:

... Dear Philbob88, If your husband is having an affair with a Small Heath resident, I'd suggest some psychotherapy as a first instance. Some people do have mental breakdowns after all. If that doesn't work though I'd shoot him in the testicles - two birds with one stone.

Comment 55, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.52 pm

Christian said:

... Great piece of writing Matt, really good stuff. And as we all currently support the most boring team in the world (well, it feels like that this pre-season) it's nice to have a bit of variety on these pages. If my missus was like Villa my relationship would be: Wake up, check she's alright and not done anything crazy in the night, speak about her all day, pray and hope she does something adventureous or exciting, defend her when she's being slagged off, avoid being envious of my mates' girfriends, dream of what amazing things might be on the horizon, get home, check she's ok again, then get told by her 'I'm tired, I'm off to bed, don't forget to turn the telly off...'

Comment 56, made on July 28, 2009 at 12.58 pm

Matt T said:

... I often check that my Aston girl is still alive with the lack of communication... I assume she's going to work but when I leave in the morning or get back at night she's in bed saying only what she didn't do that day... She's great but she gave away both of her kidneys - well one packed up and had to go, and I kind of wonder why she bothered... especially when she's now on dialysis and wondering why the transplant list is so long now her kidneys are gone... If she doesn't get a new organ soon, I doubt she'll be running the marathon again this year...

Comment 57, made on July 28, 2009 at 1.11 pm

Martin Clabon said:

... Matt T nice one. Think your club is more like a sister, she frustrates you but you love her deeply and could never get rid of her

Comment 58, made on July 28, 2009 at 5.51 pm

Andy Scarborough said:

... Sid, that's a perfect analogy; I insult my sister at every opportunity, but woe betide any other bugger to say anything untoward about her. I suppose that must mean that we ought to accept some of the more negative comments from our fellow supporters on here and other blogs. Mind you, it's fun when we get the likes of the Spuds on here, anyone remember oneaaronlennon who used to come on here about three years ago? Now he was a total muppett.

Comment 59, made on July 28, 2009 at 8.14 pm

parisianrob said:

... Best blog for an eternity on here i hope all the skysports armchair fans on this blog read and digested Fans who travell week in and week out who celebrate or hurt if it goes wrong but in the end support to the last man says it all really rob

Comment 60, made on July 28, 2009 at 8.33 pm

parisianrob said:

... I remember the odreary days where we played four fullbacks across the back four not one above 6ft we played with two up front with no pace say no more as i have said before i enjoy my trips across the channell for away games much more than the home games why must be the company we away fans keep

Comment 61, made on July 28, 2009 at 8.39 pm

James Clift said:

... nice article Matt. I feel exactly the same, isn't it strange though how one day you can love the Villa more then you've ever loved any bird, then another day hate them more than you've ever hated anyone! Villa have given me more pleasure than any bird has (hope the wife doesn't read this) and at the same time they have hurt me more than any bird ever has!

Comment 62, made on July 28, 2009 at 9.08 pm

ingers said:

... Great post - like the analogy, but like the sense you talk even more! You've cut through all the Man U, Chelski, Man City envy and hit the nail on the head. Lets build it slowly with a stable base and foundations and develop it....and it'll still be there when we are old and grey...and the billionaires get bored.....

Comment 63, made on July 29, 2009 at 8.11 am

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