The spreadsheet has been built by Randy Lerner's advisers. It tells an incontravertible truth. He can make money out of Aston Villa by being just slightly less shite than the bottom three.

The money men have done their homework. They've reassured Lerner that Wigan, Bolton and Blackburn are completely toss. And, furthermore, that Wolves are on their way to complete tossdom. The unthinkable is indeed unthinkable. Aston Villa will not be relegated. I'm up for not getting relegated. In fact, I'm getting a "Villa are staying up" teeshirt printed tomorrow. I'll wear it to the next game I don't attend.